Your Soul's Truth

Alix & the Archangels

My Healer’s Heart: Managing the Desire to Rescue

A Healer's Heart

As I settled into meditation today, the first words that Spirit sent were these:

Her wounding requires nothing of you.

And I knew the words were true, but at the same time my healer’s heart cried, “Wait!”

For how could I see someone in pain and not respond? Not try to help, or offer healing wisdom?

Jesus once said to me that this is a pain that every healer knows: to see wounding and yet be unable to heal it.

Healers hurt when others hurt.

Healers see both pain, and the possibility of no more pain.

Healers see the wound, and the path to the cure.

It makes our hearts ache.

Our hearts ache when someone near and dear to us struggles. We want desperately to help them. And yet, there’s a problem with that drive to help. There’s a gordian knot that grows out of that heartfelt desire to help.

It’s essential that we healers understand this dance, and free ourselves from it. So if you are one who hurts with pain that is not yours, read on.

The Thin Line Between Desire to Help, and Disrespect

To see another’s wound and want to heal it for them is an energy of ego, one-upsmanship, and disrespect.

When we see another person as wounded, when we want to step in and “fix” them, we are standing above them and they are by definition placed one step below us. For if we saw the other as our equal, it would never occur to us to interfere.

The urge to rescue carries hubris. Who are we to think we know better than she does how she ought to run her life?

If you’re not sure that you  believe me, think of a time when someone decided that you needed rescuing. I’m not talking about a helping hand or offer of support, I’m talking about those moments when a family member decided it was their job to show you the error of your ways. Wasn’t it infuriating? Didn’t it make you incandescent with rage? Or perhaps ashamed and uncertain, and probably at a time when you were trying so hard to be strong.

I Want to Work with You, But I Can’t Afford to Pay You

Healers often find themselves drawn to help people who can’t afford to pay them. We know how to help, and the other person clearly needs help, and so we offer our services for free or at a much reduced rate.

When our desire to help leads us to give our work away for free to those who “can’t afford it,” we breach our own boundaries and devalue our own work.

We disrespect the other person by viewing them as someone who cannot help themselves, and we simultaneously diminish the value of our healing work. This dynamic is worthy of its own blog post, and I will explore it in greater depth in a future article.

Our Pain is Our Problem

Sometimes we want to help the other person hurry up and heal because we are having a hard time handling their pain.

Many lightworkers are clairsentient, which means that they feel the emotions and physical pain of the people around them. So if someone near us is depressed, grieving, or full of rage, our desire to help them may come partly from our inability to handle the emotional energy they emit.

Which is of course, our problem, not theirs. So if this is something you experience, you might consider learning to shield yourself energetically through creating strong energetic boundaries and learning to keep other people’s energy out of your space.

No Quick Fixes

There are no quick and dirty solutions to managing a healer’s innate drive to rescue. It takes awareness to notice the dynamic and determination to practice making different choices. It all boils down to self-worth and boundaries—realizing that your healing talents have value and that you deserve to get paid for what you do.

So what can you do instead of rushing in to rescue someone?

Check your boundaries: take a minute to check in with your psychic boundaries and make sure that you are staying in your own lane.

Visualize the other person’s pain cascading over you but not touching you—running off your shields like rain off an umbrella.

Notice your personal work: When we over-focus on rescuing, we’re usually avoiding something of our own that needs our attention. So turn your focus inward and ask, “What do I need to heal?”

Hold space for the wounded person’s strength. It’s easy to see someone else as struggling and needing help. It’s harder but much more useful to see the other person as strong and competent, to connect with their power instead of their wounding.

Feel compassion, not pity. Compassion witnesses pain, pity condescends to it. The two vibrations are quite different.

Share Your Wisdom

What works for you when the urge to rescue overwhelms you?  What experiences with this dynamic have you had? I’d love to hear from you. Please take a minute to leave a public comment below this post, or drop me a private email at

And if this is something you’re trying to shift, remember that I’m always available for one-on-one sessions.

Many blessings,


About Alix

Hi! I’m Alix. I'm an intuitive life coach, energy healer,  and channel for the wisdom and healing of the archangels. I help my clients get the answers they need.

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